Triumph Over Trauma!

I see you! - Refusing to remain invisible.

January 29, 2024 Eve Mcnair
Triumph Over Trauma!
I see you! - Refusing to remain invisible.
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Heard of the phrase "Be seen and not heard"? This episode is for all the people that life has tried to hide or silence. Join me on a journey beyond New Year's resolutions and into the realm of revelations.  Like the Samaritan woman's encounter at the well, we confront the vulnerabilities that surface when we step into the light, encouraging you to embrace every imperfection before God and those we hold dear.  This episode is a call to transparency, urging you to stand in the truth of your story and purpose as well as our deep-seated need for recognition and the strength found in visibility.

  •  What is Trauma?                                                                                                                                               Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.  An emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, abuse, or natural disaster.     
  • How to cope with Trauma                                                                                                               Talk to a few trusted people, open up about your struggle, seek online support groups, read self-help books or practice small acts of self-care such as meditation, breathwork, yoga and exercise can help you regain some feeling of control.”
  • Find a therapist                                                                                                                                               Get Started (betterhelp.com)
    Online Psychiatric Medication & Mental Telehealth Services - Rx Anxiety, Depression & Insomnia Treatment | Cerebral  

  • Triumph Over Trauma Scripture:  II Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto to God, who always causes us to Triumph in Christ....   


  • Books I'm reading on my healing journey.

It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes who we are, & how to end the cyclehttps://a.co/d/f22BoLk

Home Coming- Thema Bryant   
https://www.amazon.com/dp/059341831X/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_TE4YHJQ63FA21362FP79

The Body Keeps the Score -  https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_HXH4RMNC329DT7VPQ5WG


Support the show

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!




Support the show

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!

Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the podcast. Listen y'all. I created this podcast because, like so many other people, I've had a traumatic past. I didn't always realize how those things affected me negatively and how I even carried them into my adult life, and so I wanted to create a space where other people could come and we could have candid conversations on how you identify trauma, how you navigate it and how you recover from traumatic experiences. If this resonates with you, then join me. I am your host and trauma survivor, ms Eve McNair. Let's get into it. Do you know, in African cultures, especially the Zulu tribe, when one greets another, they say sau bona, which means I see you. When was the last time you were seen or felt, seen, heard or accepted for who you are? Well, today we're going to explore what it means to be truly seen and heard, regardless of your background, who you are and what you've experienced. Everyone deserves an opportunity to show up, to be visible in their full God-given potential. Let's get into it. What's up, guys? Happy New Year. Listen, I know we're four weeks into the month. January has just about five weeks and so, although we're four weeks into the month, I'm still saying happy New Year, because this is the first month of the year. Now, speaking of the New Year, it is said that, by the 19th of January, most people have already relapsed on their New Year's resolution, whether their resolution was to lose weight, workout more, spend less or just eat healthier. Most people have begun to relapse by this time, or by the 19th of the month. Before the New Year came, I had resolved that I didn't want to make another resolution. I said to myself instead of a resolution, I want God to give me a revelation. I want him to give me something, or reveal something to me that's going to change the way I think, act and live. I said, god, I'm ready to see you in a greater way, and I'm ready to be seen in a greater way. What I've come to understand, though, is that being seen requires a level of vulnerability that I was not comfortable with. Right, because, although we know that God sees all and knows all, sometimes there are parts of us that we think are hidden from Him, and there are parts of us that we hide from others, and so, to be fully seen, sometimes that means we have to be fully transparent, we have to be fully visible. For me, this is difficult because I grew up in environments that subscribe to the motto be seen and not heard, and so there is this tendency that I have to shrink. There's this tendency that I have to remain invisible verbally, to remain invisible physically, to remain invisible Emotionally. There's this tendency that I have to shrink into those comfort zones or into those boxes. I was pre-packaged in right, and so I understand that that means this is going to be challenging for me, and I'm reminded of a story in the Bible where a woman was not only fully seen by God, but it empowered her to show up and be seen by others as well. So today's topic is I See you, but first let's go over this Bible story, because I want to encourage you to allow yourself to be seen fully as you are flaws, failures and all Okay. So about this Bible story John, chapter four records a conversation or an interaction between Jesus and a Samaritan woman. Now the Bible says that Jesus is on his way to Galilee, but he must need stop in Samaria. Now, typically, the Jews would avoid Samaritans altogether. In fact, if they were en route to Galilee and they would choose not to go through Samaria, they would actually go to the east part of the Jordan River and cross. That way they would avoid the Samaritans by any means necessary, pretty much. So the fact that Jesus was on his way to Galilee and chose specifically, the Bible says he must need to go. It was imperative for him to go to Samaria, right, and so the Bible says when he arrives, his disciples go into town to buy food and in the meantime, jesus sits down by a well. The Bible says that he takes a rest when, all of a sudden, a woman comes to draw water from the well. Now, the unique thing about this woman at the well is that she came during a time of day when no one else was expected to be at the well. The Bible says she comes at the sixth hour. This was the hour of the day, like around 12 PM our time, and this was the hour of the day where it was the driest in the hottest. Most women would either come at 6 am before the sun rose, or right as the sun was rising, or 6 pm as the someone's going down to avoid this scorching temperatures. But this particular woman took extra strides to be unseen. There was a reason why she was alluding interaction with others, and we'll get into that. As the story goes on. She gets to the well, proceeds to begin to draw water and Jesus says to her give me a drink. And she like, hold up, I'm a paraphrase. She says you are asking me for a drink of water Because, again, the Jews typically didn't have any interactions with the Samaritan and she was clearly a Samaritan woman living in Samaria. And, long story short, there is a conversation that begins to proceed between Jesus and this woman. Now there are so many things that jump out about this woman's story. From the beginning, she came to the well when most people were not there. She came to the well expecting not to be seen. She was comfortable with being unseen. Now the conversation that she has with Jesus kind of breaks down the reason why she was alluding the eyes of others. Right Now, you might be thinking what does this have to do with being seen, with being vulnerable? Well, as the conversation goes on, jesus asks her to call her husband right and come back. He says go get your husband and come back. Here's where something remarkable begins to happen. The woman answers truthfully and says I have no husband, to which Jesus replies true, you have no husband. You've had five husbands and the one you have now is not yours. Like whoa, let's park there for a second. She came to the well just for a drink of water. And here she is confronted by the reason for her elusive behavior. She was purposely alluding the others. She had had five husbands and she very likely had a reputation for having been divorced that many times. See, back in the first century, women were often married off by their fathers at a very young age, and it's very likely that she may have outlived some of her husbands Also. Not to mention, during that time, men could initiate a divorce without explanation or justification. So it just so happened that she had been divorced five times. The Bible doesn't go into detail as to why she was divorced, whether her husbands died, nor does it state that she was promiscuous or anything like that negative about her character. We kind of look at it like that. You know she'd been divorced five times. Something got to be wrong with her, but we don't know the background as to why she was divorced. In any case, she was the worst five times. She had had five husbands and the man that she was with currently was her husband, and so when Jesus responds this way to her, she's like wait a minute, you must be a prophet, right, but this is what I want to focus on At this point in the conversation. The woman believes that Jesus is a prophet, but soon she learns that he is the Messiah. The Bible says that, upon this revelation, she leaves her water pot that she was going to draw water with. She leaves her water pot and goes into the city and begins to tell everybody that she has just met the Messiah. She specifically says come see a man who told me everything I had ever done. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. The Bible says that she responded to Jesus in truth, and truth takes vulnerability. She had to be vulnerable with her past. She had to be vulnerable with her trauma. See, we got to get to the point where the truth about our past does not negate the truth about how Jesus sees us. Right, all it took was one encounter, one revelation as to who Jesus was that changed the way she showed up. The Bible says that she left her water pot and went to the town and began to tell people come see a man who told me everything I've ever been. I mean everything I've ever been through. She didn't care how they viewed her. She didn't care about what they thought about her. She didn't even care about their opinions. She left all of that behind, see, she chose to show up and all that she had been created to be right. She chose to show up in her fullest potential. She actually became an evangelist for the area and began to win souls to Christ. You never know what a revelation from God can do for you, how it can change the way you show up, how it can change your visibility in this earth. Once she had this encounter, once she had this revelation and that's what I endeavor to obtain this year. I endeavor to obtain a revelation from the Lord so much so that I care not about my past, my failures, my weaknesses, that I care more about showing up to be fully all that God has created me to be, to reach my potential. So that my past no longer controls me right, so that I do not hide, so that I show up fully, as I'm meant to be. And see what I love about this woman's story again, I want to keep saying it is her 360 change. First of all, because I can identify With some of her behaviors, especially the behavior where she wanted to remain Invisible, where she went out her way to be elusive. Right, because I can look back at areas of my life where I didn't always want to show up with the call of God. In my life, I didn't always want to show up in my full potential, whether it be because of people's opinions or expectations, or even because of my own past traumas or failures. Sometimes you look at yourself and your questioning who am I to show up with the call? Who am I to show up in an, with an anointing, or with this new strength or with this new power? Right, who am I to show up? Especially if people have seen you at your worst and you have to present yourself to those very same people and you know that they're gonna be thinking like who she thinks she is. And sometimes you're asking your own self that who do I think I am? Who am I to be? This right, and I'm reminded of this poem by Marianne Williamson. I think it's called who am I not to be? The poem goes like this. It says who am I not to be? Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I to be? Brilliant, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You're a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We're all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. And, baby, let me tell you something. This Bible verse, or a passage plus that poem, literally sets a fire under me, because I'm like you know what? Sometimes you do get in those funks and you're like who am I? You know, to be this or to show up in this way. Who am I to you know, rearrange my life and do a 360. Sometimes you are looking at yourself with an inappropriate lens, or with the lens of your past, or through the lens of your failures, or that, through the lens of your weaknesses. And what I so love about this woman's story is it's as if Jesus Readjusted or recalibrated her lens, the way she saw herself. Because when she went before those town people and told everybody, come see a man who told me about you know everything I had ever done, she didn't care about what they thought about her, how they looked at her out of you Do you know any of that? She was like, listen, I'm on a mission to tell somebody what God did for me, right, and that's how we got to be about our own business. We got a stand-off business. This year, in the year to come, we got to show up and all of our potential, all that God has called us to be and is calling us to be, regardless of our past or our failures or problems, issues. But you know, whatever we have allowed to be an excuse or a reason to hold his back or Reason for us to be unseen. Now is the time to be visible, visible, visible with our talents or gifts, our abilities. It's as if the world is saying show me what you got, right. The Bible says that. The Bible says to let your light so shine before men that they may glorify your father in heaven. How can I give God glory for you if I can't see you Right? How can I give God glory for you. If you don't show up, I don't know what God has done, I don't know that he's able or capable of doing For me what he has done in you if you don't show me. And so the question remains Well, how do you go from living behind the scenes or in the shadows? How do you go from being unseen to seen? How do you go from being unheard to heard? I Think there's a work that needs to be done, and I think that that work starts with identifying where in life Do you feel unseen? You know. Do you feel unseen and unheard? And your friend groups? Do you feel unseen and unheard? In your church, do you feel unseen or unheard, you know? At your work, do you feel unseen and unheard in your relationships? Or at home? Where are you feeling this? You have to first identify, to identify those areas, right, and then I feel like, once, what can identify those areas? You have to say wait a minute. Do I see love and appreciate myself? First, right? Am I loving on me? Am I, do I appreciate me? Do I see me for who I am? Have I taken stock of all that I have to offer, my talents, my abilities? You know? My capabilities, my gifts, you know, have I measured myself? Do I see all that I'm capable of? Do I know my full potential? Right, and sometimes we're in the process of reaching our full potential. But do you realize what you're capable of? Right? Because I feel like when you know this about yourself first of all, you're less likely to kind of seek validation and affirmation from others, because you know you say to yourself Well, I know what I have to offer, I know whatever I did to people, right? Which leads me to my next point Know your worth. Know what your value is. Know what your contribution to those groups are to, whether it's your workplace, your, your church, whether it's your relationships, your friend groups, you know, or wherever, those places that you've identified, where you're not feeling seen or heard. Know that you have value, that your contribution to these places matter, that when you come, the atmosphere changes. You shift atmosphere, the environment is different because of you. You have so much to offer, so much that you bring. People are elated to see you. You add to people's lives by being there, right, so? But you have to know that and that means that you have to identify it. Sometimes, if you've been in places where you've been treated poorly, you've been undervalued. Sometimes you take on that mindset where you undervalue yourself and you don't even take the time to explore all that you are. You don't even take the time to explore all that you can you have to offer and you begin to undervalue yourself and in doing so, you tell others to do the same. So you have to know your own worth and once you know, like, listen, I know what I have to offer, right? Once you identify what your talents and gifts or capabilities are, and all the goddess placed inside you, then you're going to be willing to put yourself out there. That is the work, right? You got to be willing to be transparent and vulnerable and, like I said about this woman's story, when Jesus asked her to go get her husband, she was honest. She said listen, I have no husband right Now. That may be that may have been hard for her to do because of her past, but we have to come to the place where, regardless of what our past or our weaknesses or insecurities are, we still can be transparent, we can still be vulnerable and say listen, I don't have it all together, but I do know that I still have value. Right, I do know how to respond in truth, I do know how to show up authentically as myself, right? So that means being willing to put yourself out there because, regardless of where you've been, what you've been through, what you've experienced, you know all of those things you still matter, you still have value, your contribution is still significant to the world. And then you have to take action. Taking action to me means, if you've done all of that work, you've identified where in life you feel unseen, you, you know that you see love and appreciate yourself first, you know your worth, you're willing to put yourself out there. You've actually done that work. Taking action means that if you're still, even after all of that, remain in places where you're under her and under value and unseen, then perhaps you have outgrown that, please, right? I'm a firm believer that we evolve, we change, we mature, we grow, and that means our needs do as well. Right, and maybe the place where you, where you first found yourself, or those places where you first originated. You have now come to outgrow them and your needs have changed and now you need more exposure or you need More opportunity, right, and there's nothing wrong with that to showcase your gifts. You need more opportunity to show of us who you are and to Offer more. Maybe you just need more outlets, and there's nothing wrong with identifying hey, wait a minute. Okay, this particular place in my life does not offer Me the opportunities that I need to show for all that God has put inside of me. Right now, I'm not one to like cut people off and Disconnect, because because we all need each other I'm firm believer that I need you, you need me, but I do believe that our needs are ever changing and ever growing, and it is up to us to identify places that meet our needs right. Just like you, you, when you go to the shoe store, you don't pick a size that you know you can't use. You don't pick a size of shoe that you know you don't need. You pick what fits you, and so we have to be Proactive in picking with what fits us. In our, as our seasons and life change, we have to pick what fit, fits us right, and so you Pick what fits you. Take action. This season or this place, in this season of my life, I may have outgrown or I may have changed, and so now I need more right, but that starts with taking action. Again, the steps are identify where in life you feel unseen. See love and appreciate yourself. First, know your worth. Also, be willing to put yourself out there and, lastly, take action. Listen, guys. I hope that this has been helpful to you. I hope that you are encouraged to show up in all that you are. I want to see you and hear you. The world needs to know you and to hear your voice and to witness the glory of God that is inside of you. Remember to show up, remember to be authentic, remember to be visible, even if it means being vulnerable. Listen, I'm going to pray out, because I know that God is able to make us abound in all things. Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you, for these are people whom you are not only healing but you're revealing. You're getting them ready for the next season of their lives. I thank you, father, god, that you are strengthening them and encouraging them to show up in life the way that you have designed them to. I know that the best is yet to come and we thank you in advance for it. In Jesus' name, we pray Amen. Thanks so much, guys, for tuning in today. Thanks for watching. Don't forget to check out the show notes. Each episode has its own show notes at the bottom of the page you are listening on. You should be able to click on it. Click on the episode and scroll all the way down. You will see some pointers regarding today's episode. You'll also see some tips, tools and resources regarding finding your own therapist in your area, as well as some of the books we're reading for our trauma healing journey. Also, if you'd like to be a part of the show, you can find my contact information there as well, or you can email me at bookingbookingmsevecom. I will take a look at your email and see if you can be a part of the show. Again, that is all for now. Don't forget our key scripture 2 Corinthians, 10 and 14. Now, 2 and 14. Now, thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph. Thank you and have a good day. Bye.

Being Seen and Heard
Empowerment and Self-Discovery